Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
