i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
