i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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