I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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