Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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