No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
