so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
