I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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