is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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