ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
