My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
