Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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