think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
