you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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