I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
