Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.