She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
