just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
