Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize