just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
