if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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