Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
