It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
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On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize