We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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