so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
