I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
