I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
