hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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