best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize