It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize