P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
