Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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