I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
