I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
