good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize