I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
