Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
