respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I supernannyed him into submission
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
