Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
