but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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