just come out here and I will go home with you...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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