bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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