A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Holy sore nipples Batman
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
