How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
