I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If I die, sorry about rent.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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