Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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