I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
