you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
