Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
