Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
