That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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