miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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