so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
