Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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