Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
