the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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