dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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