definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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