So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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