I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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