you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
we should paint friendship bongs
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
