Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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