Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
