nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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